Dungeons & Deadlines — Episode 20: The COO Council of the Everforest

It is a strange time for the Factory. Morale is rising. The Lich CIO still reigns over the Labyrinth of IT, but Line 3 is running, and Garreth has been released from Form 8823 Chains of Review on good behavior.

The team has been ordered to a mandatory off-site in the Everforest — ostensibly a "teambuilding retreat," actually a thinly disguised attempt by HR to get them out of the plant while Finance re-papers the Q3 capex.

But in a clearing beyond the tree line, around a crackling firepit, five strangers sit in folding camp chairs.

They wear lanyards. They are not from this plant.

They are the COO Council — and they are thinking about really important things.

Panel 1 — The clearing
GARRETH (whispering): "Is this… the retreat?"
ULLA: "I think we're in the wrong dungeon."
ORLIN: "No. No. This is worse. These are peer companies."

Panel 2 — The agenda item
The Beholder COO: "Colleagues. The productivity crisis is structural. The IPI data is in. We are, on average, 0.3% worse every year for eight straight years."
Dragon COO (exhaling smoke onto a marshmallow): "My board wants me to 'harness AI.' They will not tell me for what. They heard it at a conference."
Warforged COO: "I've just returned from the Owens Corning tour in Newark. Beautiful facility. They have actually redesigned their operating model. They didn't just rename the org chart."
(A reverent silence. The fire crackles. Somewhere, a printer fails to print.)

Panel 3 — The party is spotted
Beholder COO: "You. Shop floor. Come. Sit. We need ground truth."
GARRETH (stepping forward, clipboard raised like a shield): "He's with me. He's the squire. Ask me your questions."
Dragon COO: "Capex prioritization. You have one gold piece. Where does it go — ERP upgrade, predictive maintenance, or Industrial AI pilot?"
GARRETH (without hesitation): "None of those. I fix the bathroom door on Line 2 that's been broken since October. My people stop walking four extra minutes per shift. I get a 1.1% productivity lift by Tuesday."
(The COO Council falls completely silent.)

Panel 4 — A disturbance in the doctrine
Slime Mold COO: "HE HAS SOLVED THE VALUE LEAKAGE. IT WAS THE DOOR."
Beholder COO (five eyes welling up): "In eight years of IPI data, no one has ever said 'the door.' We build frameworks. We commission maturity models. We… we never fix the door."
Dragon COO (majestic, rising): "Dwarf. We would like to offer you a seat on the Council."
GARRETH: "I have a 6 a.m. shift change tomorrow."
Dragon COO: "We meet at 7. With bagels."
GARRETH: "…I'll think about it."

Panel 5 — The scariest phrase
Archivex Hourgrim materializes from behind a tree, glowing tablet in hand.
Archivex: "I'm from Corporate IT. I'm here to help…"
(…for a piece of your soul.)
Caption: "And thus the Council adjourned. The door remains unfixed. But the quest continues."